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Hey! Chase Amante here.
Contents:
  1. Subscribe to the VICE newsletter.
  2. How Swinging Made My Marriage Stronger
  3. How To Start Swinging Beginners Guide
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This skill can also transfer into other relationships including friendships or work relationships.


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Typically during a swinging agreement, it is two couples agreeing to swap partners. But the person you go home with? Your girlfriend or wife. You both want to ensure the other feel safe and is enjoying themselves. For instance, if one partner or participant reports a hard limit, or an activity off-limits, then other partners will not engage in that activity.


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Instead, conversation may occur to understand what that person needs to feel comfortable and self-care. One of the greatest benefits of an open-type of relationship is that you no longer have to have all of your needs met by one single person. Not only is the swinging sex fun, but it can actually improve your sex life with your partner in between swap sessions.

This not only improves your sex life, but builds your chemistry and intimacy, too. Many of the couples I work with report that they feel closer to their partner after a consensually non-monogamous encounter.

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She also notes that for some couples who decide to give swinging a try, finding likeminded couples might be a barrier. After all, you must seek a twosome that both you and your girlfriend find attractive enough to sleep with. Swinging is very much like dating, where communication occurs to assess if we go to the next step. I also suggest seeking support from a trained professional such as a sex therapist to explore your interest in swinging and how to create conversation with your partner. A sex therapist can help you explore if your interest will be a healthy addition to your relationship and if there are other factors needing to be addressed before opening the relationship.

How Swinging Made My Marriage Stronger

Be prepared that your partner may take this personal or that you are not satisfied with the sexual relationship. Having the skills to articulate and communicate your desires without creating blame is important. Show your partner the research you've done and what you've learned about yourself. Once there is an agreement to open the relationship, creating a set of rules to follow is key. This builds trust, respect, and boundaries. Nonetheless, the guys were exemplary in asking permission every step of the way.

We also practiced safe sex by using condoms for intercourse. It was my idea to try out the mat with arm and leg restraints. We went home flushed with feel-good hormones and self-confidence. But there were even more benefits in store for us. We were so aroused from the experience that we woke up several times that night - to hump like a couple of lust-filled teenagers!

How To Start Swinging Beginners Guide

The next day was Saturday and - having the luxury of no kids living at home - we talked over our initiation into the swinger lifestyle. No detail, impression or thought was left out. We talked about how we felt, whether we liked it and what would we change. We ended the discussion by asking if we'd do it again. The answer was "Hell yes! That evening we were back at the club before the door opened, the annual membership fee in hand. Sign us up. Based on my own experience and interesting conversations with other couples, here are a few things to know if you're considering the swing lifestyle for yourself:.

Talk first, sex later Talk, talk, talk with your spouse. It's not appealing and it could damage the relationship. Women rule In the swing lifestyle, women really are in charge. That, my female friends, is very empowering. Also be prepared to meet a lot of men who really, truly like women.

Your enjoyment is a huge part of their enjoyment. However, it can make an already strong relationship even better - if you are both on the same page. Swingers are just like you Most people in the lifestyle have responsible lives with jobs, families and other interests - just like us.

My spouse and I have occasionally "taken one for the team" when one of us was particularly interested in another couple.

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Other couples do it too, but I wouldn't recommend it as a regular thing. It should be fun The lifestyle is meant to be fun. It can become a frustrating chore, though, if you spend too much time continuously looking for new couples. Some couples develop ongoing relationships with each other, which cuts down or eliminates the work involved in sourcing suitable new partners.

We usually exchange a few emails, see some pics, and meet for drinks or coffee. Sometimes we go home and never see the couple again. You will find interested, fun partners. We've stuck to partners who are reasonably fit, but that has limited our play. Prepare to be rejected Be prepared to be rejected and to reject.

Experience has diminished these and other legitimate fears for me, but they are still concerns that I remain vigilant about. Swinging will change you Swinging is fertile ground to develop your sensual, sexual and fun self. I have a wardrobe of sexy, swinging outfits that I feel great in. My spouse has learned to dance! Our own sex life is better, more varied and intimate because of swinging.

I attribute that to following our curiosity, new experiences and talking. Always talking. These days, we find ourselves in and out of the lifestyle depending on what else is going on in our lives. We are still a heterosexual couple primarily interested in other heterosexual couples for same-room, full-swap sex. Even though we enjoyed the experimentation immensely, we know what we want and who we are.

A year later, Angie and J decided they were ready to play with Amy and Phil again — and they did a wife swap in the same room. For the next five years, Angie and J had a sexual relationship with them — until the pair decided to divorce after it emerged that Amy had been unfaithful to Phil.


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For the next five years, we continued to have sex with Phil and Amy every few months until their marriage broke down. Angie continued to struggle with her emotions and guilt about swinging. But over time, she learned more about the lifestyle and the wider community. By , Angie and J were ready to give the swinging lifestyle another shot. They embarked on a sexual relationship with another couple for seven months and then started going to swingers clubs together. In , Angie and J came out officially as swingers. In , they told their daughter and began hosting lifestyle events in Texas — which regularly pull in over guests each time.

She immediately accepted and supported it. Follow The Sun.

How to Talk to Your Spouse About Swinging - Matt & Bianca

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